WrestleMania Recap

O.k, before I begin, I want to be clear that I am not going to talk about every match last night, for the simple reason that these unmentionables are just that. I mean, the WWE Tag Team champions, Paul London & Brian Kendrick don't get a match (I would have put them against ex-champs, MNM) and Ric Flair and Carlito are not just curtain-jerkers, but only get a dark match? (they beat Chavo Guererro & Gregory Helms in a tag team Lumber-Jack match) Not to fear though, Kane and Khali really saved the day, huh?

Speaking of the tag champs, do you realize that this was the first time that the tag titles--either the WWE straps or the World Tag titles (the real tag titles) --were not defended at WrestleMania? Yeah, I know, it blows my mind too. Also, where was the Cruiserweight title match? I mean, c'mon, this IS WrestleMania after all.

So anyways, which matches rocked and which flopped?

- "Money in the Bank" was great even if it wasn't as good as last year and in no way, shape or form should it have opened the show. But it's official, Jeff Hardy is insane. If you happened to catch the PPV on T.V. it did not do that leap off of the ladder onto Edge any justice. You had to see that live. Now I have at least a smidgen of an idea of what people felt when Mick Foley took that dive off of the Hell in the Cell. Kennedy winning the match was great. To be honest, I generally don't watch SMACKDOWN! all that much (although it has gotten better recently) so I don't really have a complete handle on his character, but I'm really starting to dig Kennedy. His promo after the match was cool, too. The inclusion of Hornswoggle (nee Lil' Bastard) was funny, if not predictable. Poor little guy couldn't reach the briefcase even standing atop the biggest ladder in the building. Randy Orton was pretty much invisable in this match.

-Kane v.s. Khali sucked and was a waste of time (and part of my money) 'Nuff said.

-Chris Benoit v.s. MVP (U.S. Title match) Now I dig Chris Benoit, I always have ever since his Stampede days in Calgary, so I'm not blaming him, but who the hell is Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP) and why did he deserve a shot at one of the most prestigious titles in American wrestling history? Again, not one of my favourite matches, but with my opinion on who should have been in the match aside, it was alright.

-The Undertaker v.s. Batista Definately one of the best matches on the card and arguably THE best. Both men were in top form and beat the hell out of each other. I think it lived up to the hype, but most asuredly not to Batista's prediction. In case you didn't hear, he said that the match would rival Savage/Steamboat of WMIII. Sorry Dave, not even close. The false finishes and reversals were great. Oh, and before I forget, there was a between match skit that had Cryme Tyme dancing with the ECW dancers (and just let me say that I agree with a sign I saw at the SMACKDOWN! before MANIA: ECW DOESN'T NEED NITRO GIRLS!!!) A few legends and/or WWE alumni showed up for it, including Ricky"The Dragon" Steamboat, Irwin R. Schister, Ted Dibiase, Dusty Rhodes, and Farooq (Ron Simmons) DAMN!

-ECW Originals v.s. The New Breed Another disapointing one. I mean, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman and RVD teaming up and no blood? Was this an ECW match or Romper Room? I really expected more out of this match. I know, I know, ECW is truly dead anyway.

-Battle of the Billionaires (Hair v.s. Hair match) Now this was cool. Umaga and Bobby Lashley were in top form, Steve Austin was...well, Steve Austin. Even Trump seemed to have fun as he (crappily) clotheslined McMahon and put some knuckles to his head. Lashley won and McMahon tried to sneak out, defaulting on the deal. In the words of Stone Cold, UH-UH! Lashley chased him down, carried him back and threw him into the ring into the waiting arms of Austin, who happily held him down while Trump gleefully shaved his head. Even Lashley got in on it, lathering up the boss's head with shaving cream before McMahon was bicked smooth. It was truly priceless and one of the best moments of the night, if not the year. Was anyone really surprised when Austin stunned Trump? DTA Donald. DTA.

-Melina v.s. Ashley (Women's Title) This was a "Lumberjill" match with all the WWE Divas at ringside. I was glad to see Victoria there, if not utilized. OHH, Victoria (Homer drool) This one lasted all of about 10 minutes before Melina retained her title.

MAIN EVENT:
John Cena v.s. Shawn Michaels (WWE Title) In my opinion, this was the night's best match. I'm apparently in the minority in that opinion, but I stick by it. Both Cena and Michaels brought the house down and like the Taker/Batista match, there were plenty of false finishes and reversals as Michaels reversed the FU twice and Cena avoided Sweet Chin Music a couple of times. Michaels did get in his one of a kind elbow drop (unless you've seen TNA's "Showtime" Eric Young in action) and Cena did manage to execute the FU, but Michaels was able to kick out. Michaels even was able to get to the ropes when he got caught in the STFU once. Once. In the end he had to tap out to Cena's submission move and the champ is still the champ. Now, what becomes of the World Tag Team titles? Well, it appears I've asked this to late. As of this writing RAW has already taken place in Dayton, OH and The Hardy Boyz have won the straps. I don't exactly know how. I'm presuming in a tag-team battle royal.

Anyways, I know I've indicated that I was disapointed in the evening's events. Far from it. It's not just the matches themselves that make up the WrestleMania experience, it's everything from the Hall of Fame ceremonies (which was also very cool) to Fan Access to WM itself; including the sights, sounds and crowd interactions. Except of course, the idiots ahead of us that wouldn't keep their signs and flags down and the bigger idiots behind us that were drunk, loud and just totally FREAKIN' STUPID!!
Look, I've worked for a couple of indie promotions for the better part of seven years now, I've met a few legends (Bret Hart, Paul Orndorff, Ted DiBiase,Mick Foley, etc) so I consider myself kind of schooled in the business (at least in the PR and media aspect of it) and repeating the phrase "Nice spot" over and over, especially when there wasn't any happening really shows your ignorance. You're not a "smark"you're not even a real fan of the sport I love when you show up at the biggest show of the year drunk from the get-go. So please, stay home next time.

One more thing. Damn, I wish we could have gotten one of those take-home chairs that were offered to people that paid $750 or more for their seats. I kid you not, I was just two rows away from getting one. Of course, I wasn't about to pay an extra $500 for about four feet of real estate.

But overall, I finally got to be at a WrestleMania and I'm damn glad I did.
A very special thanks goes out to my friend Holly, her dad, Jim and to the WWE's Mark Yeaton for the opportunity. I guess I can throw Ryan in there, too. Don't worry, he knows who he is.

And in case I didn't mention this before...WrestleMania, baby! WOO-HOO!!!

Hmm. I guess I did mention every match. Oops, oh, well.

Showtime!!!

It's about seven hours till belltime and I'm freakin' JAKKED, baby!! WrestleMania 23 is at Ford Field in Detroit tonight and I'm counting the hours, soon to be minutes. Besides all the hard, in-your-face-action (with a moving entrance to accommodate the different wrestlers, no less)

But is it weird that one of the best parts for me will be seeing Lilian Garcia all dolled up? Man, you should have seen her at the Hall of Fame ceremonies last night. Oh yeah, I was at that, too. It was cool! Jim Ross probably gave the best (and longest) acceptence speech. His inductor, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, talked about the man from the heart, using language (and no, I don't mean expletives) you wouldn't expect from the "Texas Rattlesnake". I'm also going to (at the last minute) a Legends of Wrestling show right now. Oops, my rides here, gotta go.

WrestleMania, baby!! WOO-HOO!!!