You Can't Do That On Television

I was just randomly surfing the net when I came across this article, or something, that directed me to YouTube and to clips from one of my favourite shows when I was a kid. "You Can't Do That On Television" which originally aired in 1979 as a local Ottawa kids entertainment show. I didn't catch it until around 1981 or 82. But man, when you're 9 or 10, this stuff was funny. Everything from "Barthy's Burgery" sketches to the water or slime that would drop on the unsuspecting (and REALLY cute) Christine "Moose" McGlade by uttering the word(s) "water" or "I don't know". I also found the infamous "opposite" and "firing squad" sketches to be quite humorous.

But looking back, I think the real reason I tuned in religiously every Saturday morning was to glimpse upon the beauty of Christine. Man. I really had a thing for her, which I suppose every guy my age did that was a fan of the show. I had a friend back then who was almost into her as much as I was. I say almost because he called her Moose, I refused to do so.
"Her name is Christine", I would correct him, to which he would rightfully roll his eyes at.


Lisa Ruddy was another regular in the cast that was pretty cute too. But, she was just too good at her job, because I found her utterly annoying. They didn't call her "Motor-Mouth" for nothing. But she was still a sweetie, all the same.

You may find this really weird, but I want to remember these girls (and the show as a whole) just as it was. So what happens? What do I do to ruin the precious memories of my childhood? I watch a reunion of the cast members on YouTube (it was actually at a convention of sorts, called Slimecon-in homage to said slime prop) and see what they're up to now. Now, normally you would think that a fan of any show would love to see what their favourite celebrities or character-players are up to. Are they in good health? Are they successful in their personal lives? Did they get fat?
Well, the answer to those questions is YES, except for the fat thing.
Christine is now 43 years old and is still a babe. She is a producer for children's programming, is married and has three children (damn that man who married her) Lisa is 40, is married with two children and runs a funeral home. For some reason when I was watching it, she looked unrecognizable at first, but is still pretty and stills smiles a lot. But boy, was Christine ever nice. Slim, healthy and still a beauty. Did I say that already?
This is also where pop sensation, Alanis Morrisette got her performing arts start. Yeah, I had no idea either. I must have seen her in at least 10 sketches and had no idea who she would become. But, how would I, right?

Another cast member that was very funny was that of Les Lye, the only adult cast member until Abby Hagyard came around in 1982. If you ask me, this guy was, and continues to be really under-rated. Rowen & Martin's "Laugh-In" alumni, Ruth Buzzi also was a late addition to the cast. Lye played the unforgettable Barth (along with many other characters) who was the propeitor of Barthy Burgery, the kids local hang-out. The place where they complained about the burgers (from which they'd try to guess what -or who-went into the burgers that week, usually end up barfing at the end of the sketch) but always came back for more.

Anyways, through listening to Christine's podcasts (which she hasn't updated since Feb. 24 of last year, I'm sorry to say) on her website, christinemcglade.com I found out that Nickelodeon (who bought the rights to the show after the first two seasons) has released the show in a 3-DVD, 100+ episode box-set. WOO-HOO! Now I can see Christine in all her young, cuteness and (slimey) glory. I know, this is getting unhealthy. Speaking of unhealthy, check out Barth's Burgery for more YCDTOTV memories.

I don't really know what distinguishes this show from any other shows of the era, or of my adolescence for that matter. I mean it never did have all that great of production values, but it touched me in ways not too many other shows, or even movies-past or present, have done. I mean, I just simply look at those pictures above and I'm in an instant time-warp, back in my living room in Winnipeg when I was 10. And for some reason I thought Christine and Lisa were my age. Apparently their about 9-10 years older. Like I care. I just want to stay there with the Saturday-morning sun shining through our living room picture-window and Christine on the t.v.
This show, including watching old clips (I still can't believe they're OLD clips) and pictures just puts me where I want to be. I can't explain it, it just puts me instantly back to my childhood.


Would you like to see Christine and Lisa today? Here ya go...






See, I told you Christine was still a babe. Here's an interview with her from 2004. Hey, I know she's getting all the attention, but I really dug this chick.

But, should you ever find yourself lucky enough to be in the land of YCDTOTV, you'll know it when you see this:



Here's an example of Christine at her best along with the many faces of Les Lye and a general way of how the show flowed on t.v.
Lisa is especially cute in some of these sketches as well.


I sure do miss it.